Terry, each of us here who have been caregiver to our love one or are now a caregiver/carepartner understand the feelings you are having. This is not just hard for the patient, but also for those who are close to them. My husband had a diagnose of MSA and as you said it can be so different. I would call it a yoyo illness, as we never knew from day to day or hour to hour what would happen. I was my husbands one and only 24/7 carepartner until he passed in 2003. It wasn’t easy but try to find the blessing each day. You may not feel there are any , but there are . Below is a motto I found and I lived by it. “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says “I’ll try again tomorrow”